How I almost Failed as a Parent

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     Now before you all jump to any conclusions, this article is not about me putting myself down as a parent, nor is it a reference to me not providing for my child, this article is solely based on my opinion and thoughts after having a serious conversation with my 4 year old after an incident occurred in our neighborhood.

      So here is the story where this all sparked. After a long day of work and school, my daughter and I came home and proceeded to do our daily routine. I began cooking and she went outside to play with her friends. After about 15 minutes an Amber Alert sounded off on my phone, and as most of us do, I looked at it and then proceeded to clear the Amber Alert. Well this is where it took a complete turn. Not even two minutes of me clearing the alert, my daughter runs through the door screaming "Someone kidnapped a little girl!" 

As I saw the frightened look on her face and worry in her eyes, her confusion was  followed by questions of "Who took her?”, “Are they going to hurt her?”, and “Is she going to go back with her mommy?” This is when I knew I had failed in some areas as a parent.

Now I hadn’t failed my daughter in the areas of loving, nurturing, and providing for her. And also leading her in teaching her the spirit of the Lord or protecting her, but I had failed her by trying to protect and shield her too much from a world that is so corrupt.

As parents, we try and shelter our children so that they can stay innocent and vulnerable. We keep them in a child’s place so that they won’t grow up too quick and lose their beautiful imagination of the world through their eyes. But really why are we hiding the truth from them about the world and what is going on?  Why are we hiding about what can happen at any given time, especially with racial discrimination at a rising again. Not only do they want us to teach our children what they didn’t , we fell for it. We are not teaching our children to be thinkers, instead we’re teaching them to be workers.

Why have some of us as parents, leaders, teachers, communities etc., failed our youth by not teaching them the basics instincts of life like survival, observation, personal space (rape or sexual foul play), emergency tactics, who to contact when something is wrong with themselves or someone close to them, how to defend themselves and how to analyze a situation and so on.

During this thinking process I asked my daughter 6 questions, which were:


1. If someone asked you to get in their car and mommy’s not around, do you? 
     She said “No.” (Passed)

2. If someone said I have candy and your mother (insert name) said come get it, do   you?
     She said "Yes." (Failed)

3. What number do you call if mommy's not breathing or someone you know is hurt?
       She said "I don’t know." (Failed)

4. If someone touches you and makes you feel uncomfortable but tells you not to tell, do you?
     She said "No." ( Failed)

5. If someone comes in our home unannounced do you run and hide?
    She didn’t know how to respond. (Failed)

6. If someone has a gun and tells you to hold it, do you?
     She said "I don’t know." (Failed)

So some of these questions you may think are too soon to introduce to a child, but when is the right time? These 6 basic questions ( which I have added more to teach her) are very necessary and need to be taught to each of our children. With so many school shootings, sex trafficking, senseless murders etc., we need to be educating our youth so that they will always be one one step closer to being more alert and closer to knowing how react in case of an emergency.

So I hope you understand now what I meant when I said I had failed in different aspects of training my child in the way I need her to know. Buying our children the latest Jordan’s or hottest outfit’s means nothing if they don’t know the basics of life.

I dare you to ask your kids these 6 questions to see the answers they give. I dare you to raise and teach our youth basic survival tactics so that we can protect our families and prevent tragic incidents from possibly happening. I dare you to be honest with your children so that if your child was to ever get put in a situation that seemed uneasy you are comfortable because you know that they know how to react. 

I hope this article isn’t just for me but more so an eye opening of us really learning our kids and teaching them the way of the world.


Written And Copy Written by: November Randolph
Edited By: C. Smith

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